Fic Series: A Legitimate Businessman

halberdierminister:

halberdierminister:

halberdierminister:

halberdierminister:

Fandoms: Problem Sleuth, Homestuck
Rating: Teen and up for profanity and probably violence
Summary: Team Sleuth and the Midnight Crew attempt to team up for a i-scratch-your-back-you-scratch-mine double takedown of The Felt and The DMK. AU, Human.
Status: In Progress
Author: Halberdier

Part 1: The Troubles of a Legitimate Businessman
Patrick Sloan (Problem Sleuth) approaches Jose “Jack Noir” Vantas (Spades Slick) with a business proposition. It goes about as well as you expect.

Part 2: The Associates of a Legitimate Businessman
Patrick Sloan and his team of private eyes repeat their offer to the infamous gang of ragamuffin pikers known as The Midnight Crew. Civil discourse ensues.

Part 3: The Secrets of a Legitimate Businessman
Jack Noir makes a phone call that he really, really, really does not want to make. 

Part 4: The Investigation of a Legitimate Businessman
Every proposition has a reason behind it. Some of them are more difficult than others. But a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, even if Patrick Sloan and his buddies might not see eye to eye. 

Part 5: The Lifestyle of a Legitimate Businessman
Patrick Sloan attends a meeting with Jack Noir’s right hand man, Paolo Diamante, aka Diamonds Droog. The two of them share a friendly game of pool… or is it? (It isn’t.)

Part 6: …..coming soon???

Reblogging for the daylight crowd because Part 5 is up!

Reblogging this again because I am very proud of it and would enjoy validation

choriarty:

slicksleuth summed up in one stream goodnight

rennerei:

Midnight crew mobsterdads #4

pastel-pacifist:

I got into a spades slick mood after that last comic, so here’s a dramatization of a fanfic.

fanfic here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/463122

artwork here: http://kitkatty.deviantart.com/art/HS-Snowman-Spades-Slick-259924874

If you don’t at least like the atmosphere, you’re dead to me.

[S] Everyone: Follow Peeps below.

http://www.facebook.com/pastelpacifist

http://twitter.com/#!/PeachyPastel

http://youtube.com/user/AngiesMod

http://pastel-pacifist.tumblr.com

Subscribe for more!

So someone voiced a part from The Secrets of a Legitimate Businessman and I am

SO

FUCKING

PROUD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

Thank you so much!

bionicspades:

You’ve been feeling a little stressed, a quick smoke and a glass of milk only settles you for a couple of minutes. There’s a chill in the air and it’s not entirely helpful that you’re currently threadbare apart from your underwear. It’s something you’ll have to remedy soon. Stabbing the next fucker who asks what’s up and stealing their threads seems like a pretty good idea to you.

luckyspike:

sannam:

HEY SPIKE

Happy birthday you dinosaur. <3

curls into a ball and sobs deeply

my other otp

squeaks

sanna

sanna

mwahhhhhhhh

oh ym god you mkust be kiddin mea fsf

luckyspook:

thepoorstruggler:

$$$ SINGLE DAD LYFE $$$

i have the worst drawing constipation rn but i still forced this out so now i’m sore

oh i missed this

touches face

oh

wow I will never

not love stabdads

ever ever ever

not gonna lie, my biggest cascade feel of all (besides, well, all of it)

was when Snowman said, “What are you waiting for? Draw, Spades.”

Because

It is the only time

I have ever seen anyone 

ever

refer to him as “Spades”.

New Fic: The Secrets of a Legitimate Businessman

Title: The Secrets of a Legitimate Businessman
        The Legitimate Businessman Part 3

Fandoms: Homestuck, Homestuck Intermission, and a dash of Problem Sleuth

Characters: Spades Slick and Snowman

Rating: Teen and Up for lots of profanity but not really any violence or sex

Summary: Listen, there’s a lot of things that Jack Noir don’t like. He don’t like greenhorn baby sleuths that won’t leave him alone. He don’t like other gangsters that try to muscle in on his turf. And he sure as hell won’t like the phone call he’s about to make to a certain vamp in a shiny green and black trenchcoat. But there are some things he just has to do.

Read the whole series on Archive of Our Own

umbritis:

claps hands alright!!  on to Snowman!

alright, so!

Snowman, formerly known as the Black Queen/Banished Quasiroyal.

I think, that if you compare how the White Queen looks and dresses to how the Black Queen looks and dresses, it right off the bat tells you so much about their personalities.

(I know these are from the Beta Kids’ session, and Snowman is from the Alpha Trolls’ session…this is just for comparison)

The Black Queen is more devious, crueler, and not afraid to manipulate to get what she wants.  She is most likely not very kind at all to her subjects, and obviously not to Jack.  The White Queen is kinder, gentler, and probably more compassionate, putting her subjects and her kingdom before herself (but she is no less badass than the Black Queen, of course).

Back to Snowman.

The entire reason she became Snowman was because she took off her ring.  From what I gather, Queens are not supposed to do that.

She took off her ring because Aradia prototyped a frog head, and thus she inherited the appearance of a frog, which repulsed her enough for her to remove the ring.  This shows us that she is at least a little bit vain, and draws the line somewhere when it comes to the effects of the ring, as Dersites despise frogs.  She withstood all prototypings, but Aradia’s frog prototype was the straw that broke the camel’s back for her.

She was then exiled, where Doc Scratch found and hired her, at the same time changing her name to Snowman, and somehow, making her the Universe, which presumably turned her blood blue.

Now, here’s where I tread into more headcanon-oriented territory.  But I believe Snowman despised the Felt, and in particular resented Crowbar for his position as leader.  As the former Black Queen, Snowman would be used to assuming the position of leader.  She’s used to having people listen to her and obey her.

While the Felt certainly wouldn’t hurt her (because they of all people would know that she’s the Universe), and though she’s pretty intimidating, I don’t think the Felt would listen to her, or follow any orders she might give, as she’s not their leader.

Another indication she doesn’t like the Felt is this panel:

She killed Quarters.  Without so much as hesitating.

And why?

To save Slick.

The way I interpret it, sure, she hates Slick, but no one is allowed to lay a finger on him.  That’s her job.  She is meant to torture him and needle at him and make him hate her more than he’ll ever hate anyone else, he is hers and hers alone.

Which is kinda reinforced when Slick drops the crowbar he’s about to hit her with and they gratuitously make out instead.

(one of my favorite panels by the way)

And then in Cascade..

When they’re both standing on a rooftop on the Green Moon, it’s obvious that Slick is reluctant to shoot her.

Because she’s the Universe of course, and killing her would mean accepting that he would die as well.  But I think, also because she means a lot to him.  Maybe in a sick, twisted way linked to a life of hatred for each other, but still an attachment.  He’s always been able to rely on her to be there and be a pain in the ass to him.

So she taunts him to make a move.  Even when she’s faced with her own death and staring straight at who she knows, and has probably known for a long time, is to be her killer.  She still challenges Slick.

And if you ask me, Slick’s expression looks pretty pained when he slowly raises the gun.

Something tells me Snowman knew what she was getting into.  That she’d eventually die, and by the hands of her kismesis.

She took up the job anyway.

I really wish that this had brought up that Snowman is the only character to refer to Spades Slick by his first name.  She doesn’t say, “Draw, Slick.” She says, “Draw, Spades.”  Slick’s closest friends don’t call him Spades.  Slicks enemies and bosses don’t call him Spades.  Only Snowman does.  And that is very interesting to me, and more than anything really does underscore their relationship.

(Source: greentorsos)